Most things that have been peed on need to go in the wash or the trash.
But I have two treasured keepsakes with pee all over them.
It was a Sunday afternoon, and I was flying solo. The Hubs had driven down to the Herm to spend some time working on something manly with his Pops, so I was taking it easy around the Casa, cleaning up (surface cleaning, of course), doing the grocery list thang, etc. My grocery list had the usual suspects on it, nothing out of the ordinary, as I didn’t even want to write “EPT” on a piece of paper should the evidence be found somehow.
And so I almost forgot to grab the pee tests. But on my way to the checkout line, I passed the “LadyStuff” aisle and thought, “Ya know what I better…”
I bought two different brands, because you never know. The previous week, I’d taken the last of my back up supply of WalMart brand pee tests and it had come out negative, so I was pretty sure we were safe, but I’ve learned to not trust wholeheartedly anything purchased at WalMart. So I sprung for the good stuff. I avoided eye contact with the checker as the items went across the scanner and into my bag.
Flash to the Casa and I have had a productive afternoon, unloaded groceries and considered baking something. That’s when I remember (as an urge to go Number One struck me) that I have two brand new packages of pee test to, er, put to the test.
I am not confident about my “aim”, so I grab a red Solo cup and do my business. The requisite 3 minutes pass and what should my wondering eyes behold but two pink lines here to change my freakin’ world.
“No effin’ way.”
This was repeated several times as I paced the living room.
Several hours pass as I take it all in, moving at about half speed. I drink a ton more water and test out the second brand of pee test, just to be sure.
Before the control window even fills up, I get the blue plus sign.
So these two pee tests are now tucked safely in a ziplock bag. They’ve been seen by all of three people… my sister (the first to get the news, passed under the table at a local tavern since I couldn’t quite bring myself to utter the words), my Hubs (presented alongside two large bottles of Vodka with a note that reads: “Time to start drinking for two. P.S. I’m freaking out.”), and of course, Yours Truly.
I can’t bring myself to throw them away.
I’ve seen Baby Dub on an ultrasound screen, heard its heartbeat and felt the ramifications of pregnancy (most noticeably the weight gain), but this was my first proof that there is a New Person being grown in my belly, and I just don’t think I can toss it. What does every other pregnant lady do with the pee tests?
I’m thinkin’ shadow box.