The most useful piece of pregnant-lady literature I have purchased to date is called Bump it up, and it is a book about maternity fashion. The book is by a fashion editor and is designed to help you look way-fab in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd… and 4th… trimester.
First trimester tips? Lose anything with the word “skinny” to define it, super tailored clothes, etc. and opt for empire waists and humongous accessories (a diversion tactic! “Look at this big bangle on my wrist. Nothing to see here in the belly region…”).
I made it through the first trimester without too many fashion faux pas… I think. But Trimester Dos is brutal for dressing. The protruding uterus is still not definitively “Bump-Like” and I don’t want to splurge on maternity garb yet, not knowing how the fit will adjust through the remainder of this pregnancy. My first trimester go-tos are starting to look like large tents draped over a boxy frame. Not my hottest look. No bauble is gigantic enough to pull attention from my growing mid-section. I’m at a loss.
I’ve done my research and invested in some preggers “staples,” and still I look kind of like a hot mess.
And then there’s my beautiful cousin, who is also pregnant but who is straight up ready to POP at this point. She is the Pinterest Pregnancy of the Year, my friends. No outfit looks strained, no ensemble looks unintentional, and she’s a photographer and posts these adorable pics of herself and gender reveal parties and her cute dog and I’m like, “GAH set the bar a little lower please?” and then I wipe sweat from my brow and push my stringy hair behind my itchy ear.
I need to know how these attractive pregnant women make it look so easy. Because I cannot sweat-pants it up every day of this pregnancy. I don’t believe that falls in the workplace wardrobe requirement of “urban professional.” Anybody got some hot maternity attire sites I should scope out?
And if you see me on the street lookin’ like a hot mess, please compliment my huge accessories.