Maternity jeans? Try MIRACLE jeans! Why you must bring your mother maternity shopping with you…

My new favorite pregnancy discovery? Maternity jeans.

These gorgeous puppies have a stretchy panel where your uncomfortable zipper, button and muffin-top emphasizing waist band used to be.

Suck it, regular jeans. I hereby banish all my pairs to the “Next Fall” bin because I ain’t wearing ’em again until after this Baby arrives.

I thought Belly Bands were sweet. This is the next level, folks.

Of course, Belly Bands are like, $20 a pop. Maternity jeans? Add a zero at the end there.

I did NOT want to buy pregnant lady pants. I found the whole concept of buying a maternity wardrobe to be rather depressing.

This is why you must always bring your mother shopping with you. I would never have ventured past the entrance of Pea in a Pod were it not for Momma Sue.

“They didn’t have these when I was pregnant. We better just check it out.”

Fair warning? Maternity clothes are pricey. Pricey pricey pricey. I do not recommend spending an excessive amount of money on a maternity wardrobe unless you intend to be impregnated for the next 4 years consecutively. Gross.

But I do recommend getting a pair of nice maternity jeans, because I am wearing mine right now and they are magic pants.

Shopping for maternity clothes requires a mother present. Or a matronly friend. You need somebody there to help you scour the clearance racks – which are so jam packed you need two hands to shove the hangers over so you can even see what is on the freakin’ hanger you’re after. You need a helping hand to carry your pile of large flowy tops to the dressing room. You need a listening ear while you sweat profusely trying to hop into the next pair of pants. Do not make this trek alone, pregnant friends.

I also highly recommend a mother’s presence because mothers have awesome stories to tell you about what they wore when they were pregnant. My mother, for instance, made herself a pair of red velvet overalls.

Just imagine it. You love it, don’t you? Now go get your own mother and find out what she wore when she was “with child”. And then shop for something ever-so-much-more-trendy than that. And share a laugh with your mom. She worked hard to bring you into this world.

Shopping for maternity clothing is a not-quite-pleasant task. You’ll be astonished at the price tags on most of the stuff you eyeball in a specialty store – I bought regular priced maternity jeans but snagged some great bargains on tops off the clearance rack. And then you’ll be depressed that Pea in a Pod, the store that is supposed to have everything for the expanding pregnant lady, does not carry a bra size even close to yours. As you’re checking out, you will likely see somebody else that is sporting much trendier trends than you, looking like the “It” pregnant girl and inevitably making you feel inferior.

But then your mom is there, volunteering to buy  your first pair of maternity jeans “Because I WANT to.” And your mother is there to be appalled with you that Pea in a Pod caps their bra sizes at DD. You mom is right at your side when you catch sight of “It” pregnant girl, jumping in and distracting you with a description of her favorite maternity pants that were white with a series of expanding zippers.

My two rules for maternity clothes shopping?

#1. Buy some maternity, er, miracle, er, MAGIC jeans.

#2. Bring your mother.

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2 thoughts on “Maternity jeans? Try MIRACLE jeans! Why you must bring your mother maternity shopping with you…

  1. momma sue says:

    Oh baby momma – you do make me laugh – and just for clarification – they were NOT RED VELVET – they were maroon valour – hmmm that doesn’t really improve the visual picture does it?!? Oh well – they felt “trendy” at the time – I think this was during my second (you) pregnancy, or possibly the third – you get a little desperate sometimes – I just might haul out the trusty sewing machine, thread it up and sew something for you – gasp! BEWARE! Love you – still giggling – momma sue

  2. Larissa says:

    Ha! Loved this post. Seriously, what is with the tiny bra sizes? And no store lady, I’m not going to buy my bras online. In a perfect world any bra my size would fit me so i wouldnt have to try them on but anyway since I don’t know what my new size is and you can’t tell me because your measuring tape only goes to whatever your stores top size is, your advice is not helpful.

    Really though, aren’t maternity jeans the best? I didn’t want to wear them either. Then I got some and I never wanted to stop wearing then. Btw, try motherhood maternity. They aren’t expensive at all! They have some really cute styles too. I was surprised. They have a Heidi klum line with some really cute pieces. You are definitely going to need more than one pair by the time this thing is over and you probably won’t want to spend $200 of your own money for them. MM has jeans for around $20. They have gotten me through my pregnancy and my jelly belly post natal days.

    Best of luck finding bras. Bravado has some sizes that worked for me. Now just to find a store that carries them. It doesn’t get easier. Sorry!

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