Getting groped by strangers

The whole “Strange people walking up to rub the belly” thing is going to be extremely off-putting.

The Hubs has already promised that if somebody attempts this in his presence, he’ll have difficulty not using explicit language in asking this person what is wrong with them.

What is proper etiquette in this situation? I don’t think I’m confrontational enough to go the same defensive route as The Hubs. I could do the strategic turn to the side (“Hey what’s this to my left?”), or a karate chop block. I could just give the stank eye if anybody approaches with a hand out (This is the method my sister in law claims worked well for her. As she put it, “I must have just put out a don’t-touch-my-belly vibe” but let’s face it, there was probably stank eye involved.). Something tells me that when the moment of truth arrives I’ll just panic and stand there with my mouth open while a total stranger gropes me in public.

So far we aren’t obvious enough to invite the belly-touchers. I’m still rocking pretty flowy garb but pretty soon I’m going to get loud and proud with this bump… it really is getting awfully cute. Or at least that’s what my husband tells me when I’m pouting in the bathroom rubbing cocoa butter on it.

Some women don’t mind the belly-rub. They see it as a special blessing from a stranger.

I see it as inappropriate touching. No touchy.

Any advice here? I have a feeling my time is coming. And I don’t want to go all judo chop on some poor unsuspecting stranger.


2 thoughts on “Getting groped by strangers

  1. Auntie Dub says:

    It’s an art to craft just the perfect expression that says “Touch the belly, lose the hand.”

  2. All.Bison says:

    Just rub their belly at the same time. They’ll never do it again.

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