I’m so itchy!

I know why pregnant women are supposed to take prenatal vitamins. It has nothing to do with nutrients for baby. It makes your fingernails grow faster. And you need long fingernails, because when you are pregnant you get itchy.

Me, I get itchy right in the middle of my back. You know, the spot you can’t reach whether you go over the shoulder or twist your arm and try to go backdoor style.

I’m thinking of making the Hubs take prenatals so that his fingernails will grow faster, because he’s been on scratch duty for the past 3 months.

(This is a joke, however, the Hubs probably would consider taking prenatal vitamins solely for the beard-growing magic he thinks they possess.)

I’ve gone through two bottles of that coconut butter lotion that some celebrity mom swears kept her from getting stretch marks. I’m not all that worried about stretch marks, since my mom didn’t get ’em and they are supposedly hereditary.

Now, my body pillow smells like cake (not the best scenario when you climb into bed). My husband thought I was baking something the other morning. Nope, it’s just the sheets, big guy.

I got one of those Chinese back scratcher things at our office Christmas gift exchange. This is my new best friend.

I also rub against the corners of walls from time to time.

I’m like Baloo in The Jungle Book.

This is one pregnancy side effect I look forward to being rid of. In the meantime, who wants to scratch that left shoulder?


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