The Pregnant Card

I have stated with some vehemence that I don’t intend to treat this pregnancy as a handicap. But there are… hem, lets say circumstances, that a gestating female should not be subjected to.

Cleaning up dog poop.

Long hours of yard work.

Going to bed after 11.

Extended hours without food.

It is for these circumstances that we reserve the “pregnant card.”

So far, it is an unspoken thing. I don’t have to say “I’m not cleaning up that dog poop, I’m carrying a new human being.”

There are also things that a gestating female might not normally do, that she is entitled to whilst brewing up a baby.

Eating ice cream daily.

Sleeping with 6 pillows.

Stocking the fridge with fruit and frosting.

Watching whatever kind of movie she wants, from rom coms to the latest silent film that won Best Picture, with or without the company of her husband.

Whether you’re making baby parts or not, ladies, you should play your own “pregnant card” from time to time. Sometimes you deserve to be nice to yourself. Go see “The Artist” by yourself, and buy popcorn. Get a pedicure with your girlfriends. Stock the fridge with the 100th Anniversary Oreo Cookie ice cream. Eat it out of the carton.

I am fortunate to have The Hubs, who has never made me play the pregnant card. He just knows I want to have a well-stocked freezer full of ice cream flavors. He fluffs the pillows for me on my side of the bed. He rubs my back with lotion since I can’t reach the itchy parts.

Today he voluntarily sat in a theater crammed full of pre-teens and endured all 2 hours and 37 minutes of “The Hunger Games.”

I am a lucky lady.

I still have a few months to go, and I haven’t had to make any overt plays of the pregnant card. I am not sure I’ll need to, if The Hubs keeps this up. But if I do have to play it, I’m sure it will be in a well-warranted circumstance, or for a particularly un-awesome task.

Too bad I can’t play the pregnant card when it comes time to change that first diaper.

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One thought on “The Pregnant Card

  1. momma Sue says:

    Oh but you can – you will have just delivered an awesome baby Dub and he will be thrilled to have this once in a lifetime task – it works believe me! – I think daddy liked having the bragging rights!

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