The first tearless day

When you lose your baby, it is hard to believe a day will come that you don’t cry for her. But it comes sooner than you think.

It’s a little like a baseball pitcher in the middle of a no-hitter. Don’t mention it to him, don’t let him realize he has a no-hitter going, or he’ll blow it.

When I realized I hadn’t cried yet yesterday, I started to try to cry. Let me dig through my memories and find a particularly good one and dwell on it until tears form.

But tears, like laughter, have to come from a genuine place. They’re best, most therapeutic, when they sneak up on you.

Then came the guilt. How can I think of my baby and not cry? What’s wrong with me? Isn’t this too soon?

There is no right or wrong way to feel in a situation like this.

There is just the way you feel.

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