What you say at your daughter’s memorial

Our daughter’s life deserved a tribute and her Mommy needed to write it. I somehow managed to read it too.

“What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” Helen Keller

Hudson Ruth Walter could not be more loveable, and she could not be more loved. From the moment we knew there was a baby on the way, “Baby Dub” as we affectionately nicknamed her, filled our days with anticipation, joy and excitement. Her many antics and adventures during our pregnancy were well chronicled on the Meet Baby Dub blog, which is where many of her aunties and uncles and friends and family fell in love with her first.

She waited an extra week to arrive, much to her Mommy’s chagrin. Now I like to think that Hudson wanted an extra week of 24/7 Mommy time.

Hudson didn’t need much time to make you fall in love with her. For a baby who never even opened her eyes, she sure had a lot of personality.

She is perfect. I can’t believe we made her, and then again I can. A perfect little nose, we all agreed came from me. Her sweet pink mouth – that’s Zeb’s. And that hair! We’re not sure where that came from. I think Auntie Lindsey put it best – “That’s Hudson’s hair.” Thick, long red hair that never escaped comment. Chubby cheeks. Those same cheeks that we fell in love with at her 36 week ultrasound. A little point of wispy white blonde hair sticks up off the tip of each of her ears, which aren’t Shrek-like at all. She is the definition of precious. Every little part of her is a piece of me and a piece of her Daddy – so you know she is strong.

We spent the three days of Hudson’s life praying for miracles – and while we didn’t get the big one – we didn’t get to bring our baby girl home – we WERE blessed along the way with so many small miracles. The three days we were given were a miracle in and of themselves.

Other miracles?

The doctors and nurses who pulled strings to get me to Spokane that first day, giving me extra precious hours with our daughter and with my husband.

Footprint tattoos with Hudson’s cadre of fans.

Feeding Hudson with a Q-tip.

Taking turns with Zeb reading bedtime stories to our baby girl.

Making it through a couple verses of “Jesus Loves me” and “With Hudson in the Family, Happy Happy Home”

Caroline and the Forget-Me-Not organization,  who made so many memories and miracles possible.

An incredible family who surrounded Hudson with love from the very 1st moments of her life.

Getting to give Hudson a bath with Zeb – fighting with him over who got to change the first diaper.

The fact that we were in the room with Hudson when her heart rate dropped drastically.

Holding her for the first time as her heart slowed to a stop.

The opportunity to donate Hudson’s heart valves. Because of our precious miracle, some other family may get to take their little miracle home.

I still believe in miracles. Each and every one of you is a miracle in Hudson’s story and a blessing to Zeb and I as we’ve faced this heartbreaking tragedy.

Hudson is a miracle that we will cherish for the rest of our lives.

Parenthood is a miracle.

When Hudson’s baby brother or baby sister comes along, I will smile through my sleep deprived haze and treasure each and every miracle that the days bring. And every day we will lovingly remember Hudson Ruth, our first miracle, who taught us so much in such a short time and made us believe in miracles in the first place.

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8 thoughts on “What you say at your daughter’s memorial

  1. ShoeHOTLINE says:

    Erica this has me in tears. The words are simply beautiful.

    • MommaDub says:

      Beautiful words were a necessity for such a beautiful girl. I am looking forward with great anticipation to your Baby Girl – she’s destined to be as classy, beautiful and intelligent as her incredible parents.

  2. bluestmuse says:

    Through my tears, I’m sending you e-hugs my dear. Another beautiful, awful post. I’m proud to have Hudson’s pictures on my fridge right now (thank you for the photo card!) and I think of her and you guys often.

    • MommaDub says:

      I’m so glad that her picture made it to you, dear friend. I have her little feet printed in as large a size as Costco could handle, hanging on our wall. Her “wallet-size” pic is on my car’s dash. We taped a picture of her to our bathroom mirror and put her picture in our little photo-frame lamp shade. Hudson is my favorite thing to look at and I’m so honored that you would place her picture in such a prominent place in your household and your heart.

  3. Carissa vixie says:

    Beautiful. You are such an eloquent writer and this is such an awesome tribute to Tiny Hudson and the huge ripple she has created: )

  4. Uncle Gary says:

    Thanks for the three days you shared Hudson with us. We were honored to be with you.

    • MommaDub says:

      Uncle Gary – We were honored to share Hudson with our amazing family. I’m so glad you were able to meet her, for however brief a moment. I wish she could have gone on a “date” with Uncle Gary – but that is for another lifetime. Love you.

  5. […] parent should have to write a tribute to their child after just three days spent with […]

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