The perfect baby name

Baby names are quite the ordeal.

I was pregnant at the same time as a good friend, and she and her husband were not on the same page about names for their son. They playfully argued about it, both holding out hope that at the last minute the other person would change their mind. In the end, my friend won because lets face it, she’s the one who pushed out that baby.

That is the ultimate trump card, folks.

The Hubs and I did not have any problem picking a name for our daughter. In fact, we have perfect agreement on a ranked list of baby girl names 1-3, so fingers crossed that we just have girls from now on.**

**Who would ever have thought I would say such a thing?

In the name of full disclosure, the Hubs had a different first choice for girl names when we first met: Lilly. I love the name, but sorry, big guy. In high school, you named your yellow lab Lilly, and we aren’t going to name our child after your dog.

Young, handsome Bruce Willis. Yes please!

Young, handsome Bruce Willis. Yes please!

People ask me where we came up with the name Hudson. I’ve wanted to name a daughter Hudson since I was in high school, and I am just fortunate that Mr. Whiskers was so on board. Please don’t judge me: I first heard the name Hudson while watching the incomparable Bruce Willis in the film Hudson Hawk.

Take a break and get a laugh by watching this charming rendition of “Swinging on a Star” from the film. I heart Bruce Willis.

I decided Hudson was the perfect girl name for any daughter of mine: not too girly (it literally means “Son of Hudd”), strong, simple, no crazy spellings (though I confess that in my day I attempted to change the spelling of my name to Airykah – sadly, this is not a joke).

Middle name? Originally I liked Hudson Elise. I figured Elise compensated for the lack of girly factor in the first name. Then, the day after Christmas last year, my husband’s grandma Ruth passed away. I wanted our daughter to have the namesake of this strong and special woman that she would sadly never get to meet.

Thus: Hudson Ruth. The perfect baby name.

Among the myriad of disappointments in losing a child, this one might seem trivial – but I am disappointed that our perfect girl name has now been used, but I’ll probably never get to announce to somebody (at a parent-teacher conference or a soccer sideline) “I’m Hudson’s mom.” Our other exceptional girl names can never compare to the meaning and attachment we have to this one.

So many couples struggle to decide on names, worry that the names don’t fit their child, and here we were with 100% spousal agreement and the perfect name-fit for our strong red-headed fighter, but she didn’t live.

Almost as distressing is the fact that now I see the name Hudson pop up all over the place. In airports – “Hudson Booksellers.” In department stores – Hudson Jeans. I even stumbled upon a floor plan for a house today called the Hudson. The Hudson River. Hudson Hudson Hudson. I can’t see the word and separate it from my beautiful daughter. You don’t see a lot of girl names plastered all over pairs of pants and bodies of water.

But Hudson, you do.

Last night I couldn’t sleep, and so I finished the book I was reading: Eva Moves the Furniture. In the book, the heroine has a daughter, and she names her Ruth. I can’t even escape our daughter’s middle name.

I suppose I would be thinking of Hudson constantly even if I didn’t see her name in unexpected places, though. And I feel that warmth of pride when people tell me, “I just love the name Hudson for a girl,” or “What a beautiful name.”

The perfect baby name for a perfect baby girl. I don’t really mind reminders of her at all.

The nurses put her name on the white board in her NICU room.

The nurses put her name on the white board in her NICU room.



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2 thoughts on “The perfect baby name

  1. Tonya says:

    I saw your post on folfoh. So story for your loss but you truly are amazing and your posts are sad, funny and real.

    • MommaDub says:

      Tonya, thanks for your kind words. I hope that baby loss parents (and let’s just face it, ANY parents) find hope and inspiration and maybe some good-parenting motivation through our story.

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