Today is the Worldwide Candle Lighting, and I remembered.
I forgot all about the last candle lighting opportunity. I didn’t feel too bad, but when I saw there was another opportunity, I set a reminder on my phone so I wouldn’t neglect to light the candle for Hudson today at 7pm.
As I am writing this, there is laundry in the wash, and a sink full of dishes to be cleaned, a Christmas tree to be decorated, a football game on the TV, and a candle lit on my kitchen table.
A part of me feels a little guilty that the world didn’t completely stop for this candle lighting. But that’s life, right?
I have a candle lit, and as I walk by it, or as I glance at it while I write this, I think of our beautiful baby girl and miss on her like crazy. But I think of our daughter almost constantly, with varying degrees of heartache. I probably don’t need an hour of remembrance, because I have a lifetime of remembrance in which to honor Hudson.
I’ve never participated in a candle lighting thing before, not like this, not for Hudson. And I feel like something more formal should be taking place right now: TV off, dishes neglected, world stopped for an hour.
And then I remember that the world already stopped for Hudson – for three amazing days, she was surrounded by nothing but love, and her entire life was spent with people who would probably trade theirs for hers. Better yet, she continues to change the world every day, through all the ways she is being remembered. An hour of candle lighting is a part of a global movement, but the day to day actions we make in Hudson’s honor make a tangible impact on our world. I am so proud of our girl, so proud of her life, so proud to be her mom. I think of her every hour, not just in this hour of Remembrance.
So even though I am going to get these dishes done, and likely spend an hour or two on laundry after, the world stops daily for our girl, and the world changes daily because of her, and her life extends beyond the flicker of these candles, burning in our hearts and singeing others.