We have 18 days until Bullet is set to arrive on the scene. For the first time in this pregnancy, thinking to the big day, February 13, makes me think “Man, that’s coming up soon!”
I still have a lot to do!
A baby room to finish up. A house to clean. A bag to pack. A car seat to install. A book to publish.
We are READY in many ways. I mean, if my water broke today, we’d have all the necessities to bring Bullet home – a crib and diapers are the only real necessities, right? At 36 weeks pregnant and some change, Bullet’s parts should be pretty well in place and developed, though he might need a little extra monitoring and he might be a little bit skinny if he came today. The hiring of a house-cleaner last year has me feeling okay about the state of the domicile, though I’d like to have things a little more organized before the big arrival.
And then there’s the READY that I am emotionally. I cannot wait to meet this guy. I can’t wait to hold him, to see his first smiles, to hear his cries and giggles and coos and gurgles. I eagerly anticipate the perfect perspective that life gives you when the most important Thing in the world is your child. I’m ready for all of that.
Towards the end of our pregnancy with Hudson, we started getting asked “Are you ready to be done?” And of course, the answer at the time was “Yes and No.” I felt like pregnancy was mastered, and parenting a newborn was unknown, so how could I be READY?
This time is different. I am ready to be done, people. I’m big, I’m tired, I’m uncomfortable. But I am so in love with this little man that it seems trivial to complain. I just want to get my hands on the Bullet.
There are bad days when I cheer myself up by imagining the moment I meet Bullet for the first time, when they place my bleary eyed, blinking, disoriented newborn on my chest. I get clenched up thinking about it.
And it’s going to happen in 18 days.
Ready or not.