Of course the obvious subject of today’s post would be Anson. My heart is juicy, oozy full of love and gratitude for our son, this incredible little being who made the Hubs and I parents again.
My husband would make another excellent subject for today’s thoughts on gratitude. After all, he has kept me sane through life’s trials, he challenges me daily to be the best version of myself, he is a tremendously thoughtful and engaged father, and he is not too hard on the eyes.
But there’s always the one that got away: Our sweet girl, Hudson.
And today, I am thankful for the family we are because of her.
I have had a difficult time writing lately. I haven’t had the energy, the creative juices, the subject matter, frankly.
This blog was intended to be a place to share my sometimes comical musings on pregnancy and parenthood.
Tragedy struck, and this blog became something entirely different.
I have felt like what I want to write about now is…
…Too much sunshine and rainbows.
…Lacking in profundity and thus unworthy of being shared here, where Hudson’s life is captured in as much detail as I could muster.
So I don’t write for weeks, months. And when was the last time I cried because I miss my daughter? Is this moving on? Getting over it? I am no longer awash with envy at every new pregnancy announcement.
I almost feel guilty for how happy I am.
Hudson made me a mommy, put life in perspective, broke my heart and somehow still makes every day of my life better simply by having lived at all.
And so today I’m thankful for legendary red hair
for a little girl with a big name
for strong arms to hold me when my empty arms ached
for a little boy who completely owns me