Once upon a time, I got knocked up. By my husband, in a quasi-planned fashion. I feel like the term “knocked-up” implies a certain level of unwanted accidental-ness, so I had to throw in those qualifiers.

We shared our pregnancy with friends and family through the “Meet Baby Dub” blog. And then the due date rolled around, and Baby Dub was late. And then Baby Dub was born without a heartbeat, was resuscitated, and gave us the three best days of our lives before passing away in our arms.

So I’ve continued to share Baby Dub here. Anticipation has turned to sorrow has turned to hope and hopefully soon, anticipation yet again. We all knew Baby Dub would change the world.

And so, this blog continues. I may tell several people about this or nobody at all. But whoever reads it, I hope they find hope, inspiration, appreciation for the present. If there’s anything I want taken away from our experience, it is that life is too short to not appreciate the people in it. And maybe that parenthood is the greatest responsibility and the most precious gift in life.

So that’s two things I want you to take away from this.

I get two things.

6 thoughts on “About

  1. Lynn says:

    You are a true inspiration~ you have a gift for writing & you must keep it up… I stumbled upon your blog in the midst of researching how to pull myself out of the depths of my own grief from a pregnancy loss and found that reading your journey was an amazing source of inspiration and comfort~ you are so strong and again, an inspiration (there, I have said it twice). You will soon be blessed with your Baby Dub Dos for which you are wishing for and this blog will always remain a truly beautiful tribute to your angel Hudson. Thank you for sharing your story & wishing you health and happiness in this new year. Sincerely, a grateful reader Lynn

  2. Abi says:

    I read your story on Faces of loss, Faces of hope and it was so touching. I even found myself crying at some points in your story, so I decided to read your blog:]
    I just needed to tell you that your story is really inspirational. Your a very strong women for being able to pull through, even if it might be rocky sometimes, your doing great. I am excited for you for baby dub dos, sending lots of prayers to you. And thank you for sharing<3

    • MommaDub says:

      Thanks for your kind words, Abi. The Faces of Loss website has proven to be a great resource for many families going through this kind of situation, and I am glad that it led you here.

  3. Aunt Judie says:

    Love you, Erica and Zeb. Think about you everyday and you are always in our prayers. Missed seeing you over the week-end.
    Aunt Judie

  4. C says:

    I’ve lost my two-days-old baby girls three weeks ago. I’m finding helpful reading stories here and there, and then I found your story. So damn similar to mine, to ours. I’m so sorry for your Hudson. I’m feeling shlighty better reading how you’re coping with the grieving process, and that’s make me think I can do it as well.
    I just wanted to say thank you to keep writing this blog, I hope I can read more and more posts in the future. I also want to say you that your girl is beautiful. I honestly thought that mine was the most gorgeous healthy/sick two-days-old baby in the entire world, but now I think that maybe I am just a very proud mom, your girl is simply perfect. So sorry to see so much similarities in your photos and in the ones I have of my girl.
    I keeping asking me “what if”, and I feel guilty because some times I am more sad because I was ready to be a mum, and now I cannot be a mum anymore. Did you think the same?
    All the best for your life. Once, I was on holiday in Argentina and I met someone that told me once he never says goodbye, but only “buena suerte”, so… good luck to you.

  5. Sarah says:

    Momma Dub, I apologize in advance for leaving this comment – feel free to delete it. I left it here hoping few others would see it. I would contact you privately, but I’m not on FB… not sure you are either, for that matter.

    Anyway, I feel compelled, I hope you can forgive me. I don’t want to freak you out or scare you, but a friend (actually we were in a due date club online together) who had a stillborn baby boy found out afterwards that hiccups *can* be an indication of distress. Her little guy had had them a lot.. .to an unusual level. Normally they aren’t, but whatever she found (and again, I am so sorry, I don’t have a link to her information, but this is what she found out, and honestly, Idk if it was a study she read or what a doctor told her, and I have no link to share) was that babies who have them from time to time is common and normal (mine had them from time to time, fwiw) but when they come on fairly suddenly, and then continue to happen frequently, with increasing frequency, it can be an indication of distress. It can also not be an indication of distress.

    She came back to our DDC after her son died specifically to tell us all that if our babies had a sudden and intense and unusually frequent hiccups, it could mean distress, and we may want to get it checked out.

    I know we’re not really friends, I’m just a random chick that reads your blog, but I feel like I’ve come to know you guys a bit through reading your blog, and I want so very much for Bullet to be in your arms and healthy, where he belongs.. I just felt very strongly that I should say something.

    I wish you nothing but the best, and again, I am very sorry if this is pointlessly upsetting to you. That’s not my intention.


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